Quibi is the Cats of streaming services

All too happy to cancel Quibi — this streaming service is definitely not for me

Quibi wasn’t created for my demographic.

Not sure what demographic wants movies and TV shows cut up into 6-10 minute chunks. If it’s yours, more power to you. I previewed it last week (see: Quibi Streaming Service for Phones Launches April 6 – Will You Check Out The 90 Day Free Trial?) and it was like a scene in A Quiet Place: nobody made noise over this service.

You know your service sucks when there is a 90-day free trial, billions have been invested, and can’t even get a million people to download. (as of this writing: Quibi launched on Monday and they have 100,000+ downloads on Google Play)

Me? It’s something I tried multiple times to get into and just can’t get even a little excited for two huge reasons:

  1. I don’t like the format — at all. The phone screen is too damn small — I have a Galaxy Note 10+ and, despite a gorgeous display, it’s not optimal for watching movies and TV shows. I don’t even like watching YouTube on it (I use the computer or watch on TV through Roku). My eyes suck. When you get older, some/most of yours probably will, too. What strikes me as odd are the founders are in their sixties. Do they like watching movies and TV shows on their phones? Just an awful, terrible format — in my opinion. If you love watching movies and TV on your phone, then maybe Quibi will work for you. It is just plain not functional for me. If I can’t watch it, then I can’t even get into the content.
  2. I don’t want to see movies and TV shows in chunks. I’m not someone who is going to try and watch an entertainment experience in 5-10 minutes waiting in line at the grocery store. I’d rather watch as much of a movie or TV show as I can see hit the — shock! — pause button, then — shock! — resume watching when I have more time. Whoever thinks this idea of watching movies and TV shows like this must have a real problem with patience. Learn what the pause button does. A terrible idea. Really, I don’t follow tech much any more, but at one time I followed tech ideas and Quibi in 2020 is one of the worst tech ideas I’ve ever seen executed at a time that nobody needs or wants it. Almost two billion dollars in financing? What are these people smoking?

Does Quibi have any good movie or TV shows on it? Honestly, with the two above reasons for trying and strongly hating it, I don’t care about the content.

They could have 5-star movies and TV shows on there and it’s all irrelevant if I can’t enjoy the format and way it is presented. It’s like going to a movie theater and the screen is out of focus.

Who is Quibi for?

But people who have time, don’t want to watch TV six minutes at a time. They certainly don’t want to watch it six minutes at a time while holding their phone in their hand. And they super, duper don’t want to watch TV six minutes at a time, while holding their phone in their hand, while they could be using that same phone to play Angry Birds while watching something on their actual TV (or computer.)

What is Quibi, and Why is it No Match For the Quarantine? | IndieWire

I’m trying to think of something this bad and only Cats comes to mind. Those awful CGI cats slinking around. That movie was an abomination. Is Quibi this bad for two billion dollars spent?

Yes. Somebody let me know when Quibi let’s us experience their movie and TV content on a bigger screen. I find it maddening that they don’t even allow screen mirroring from my phone. That tech has been around for a long time. Nope, we’re Quibi and forcing you to watch it the way we want!

Screw you, Quibi. Out.

10 thoughts on “Quibi is the Cats of streaming services

  1. I hadn’t read up about Quibi but the idea that they’re restricting their content to be viewed on phones only is unappealing to me too. I had seen a few clips of a series that featured Kevin Hart and Kristen Bell, where they do nice things for lovely people who deserve it. That show appealed to me most. Did you see any of that?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nope, haven’t watched that one. There are like 60 shows in total that can be watched and new episodes (10 minute or less chunks being released). The 90 day free trial is still on, but does make you give them a credit card. After I canceled it said we still have access until July. I just can’t watch stuff on my phone, so probably won’t be back … although what you mention sounds interesting.

      Maybe I’ll be stuck somewhere waiting for oil to be changed or something and queue that up.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, this is helpful. First, I will avoid Quibi because I would react as you did. Second, it seems “they” (Quibi founders, etc.) have decided/identified that viewers either binge a series or watch moments. “Nobody” watches “a show” anymore (so “they” think).

    More broadly, I note that the Fire Stick’s “Haystack” app chops the local news into non-sequential bites and provides no means to watch the 30 minutes of news. Everything on Haystack is disjointed. What could be the rationale?

    Aha! “They” think that I value, or we value, just the bits. “They” think we consume things by the clip, not the show. “They” think we watch what is linked by others, which is just a clip, quip, or meme. “They” think we don’t want our friends or social media to link us to a show when the only valued piece is the short segment they ‘like.’

    “They” are living in a world I don’t inhabit. Thanks for making me aware of this via your Quibi assessment. And thanks for tolerating my long comment, probably more than “they” would find acceptable. : -)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amen. We are both alluding to the perceived — whether intentional or not — arrogance around this service. I’m hoping Meg Whitman and Jeffrey Katzenberg are not trying to shove this terrible lack of functionality down their customer’s throats, but the whole means of launching something like this in 2020 and demanding we watch it their way or no way is insulting.

      It’s like running a burger restaurant and not allowing any takeout whatsoever (imagine how that would work right now?). I read interviews and they honestly seem to think this idea is genius.

      Of course Quibi will enable screen mirroring at some point in the future (sooner than later is my guess) and that will be offered as a bonus feature that customers requested, enjoying another promotion cycle. Look, we listen to our customers!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I have heard little positive news about this new platform. One of my favorite podcasts, The Nod, ended to move to Quiby and I was disappointed. I have no plans to pay any money for more content than what I already have.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I feel like there is a lot of negativity out there about this particular platform, I’m starting to wonder if I’m the only one who likes it haha. I like the idea that I can watch a few or more episodes of a show as a mini study break, without feeling like I just lost 3 hours of my life binging, but maybe that’s just me! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting. I think some part of the negativity around it is that the content is gated intentionally. I mean, if you like a show, how do you promote it? You can’t clip it because Quibi is blocking you from doing so. Fans who liked the service and made a podcast with the name were served a cease and desist and forced to change the name. Given “Quibi” is trademarked, so they had to do it, but it’s like they just don’t know how to use $2 billion to build, run and market the service in a current day — when social word of mouth marketing is essential. That’s part of what’s led to the negativity, IMO.

      Once I can cast the content to TV, I’ll revisit the content they have. I just can’t enjoy it the way it’s currently being offered. If you can, that’s awesome. I know there are some fans of the service.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s